just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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