so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
