Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
