idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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