yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
