My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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