I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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