i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
