They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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