This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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