Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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