The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
