you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
