Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
