I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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