Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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