There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
