Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
