and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
