she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You took a bar mat shot.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
