alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
