Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
