2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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