We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
