Kiss
Puke
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
