Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
