You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You don't make any sense
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