I CAN MOONWALK!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize