Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I am puke

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(850): View more from Florida

So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.

(850): View more from Florida

I guess we all know what he was cookin.

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(305): View more from Florida

I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.

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(716): View more from New York

do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".

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(785): View more from Kansas

She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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(785): View more from Kansas

He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"

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(503): View more from Oregon

Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.

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