So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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