Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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