I love black thongs
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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