My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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