i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish i was in the wii world.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
