It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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