does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize