You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
God, I missed his penis.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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