yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
