I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
