ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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