the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
