actually, I'm a sock model
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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