Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Non-Jews are for practice
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
