I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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