I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
