My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
