Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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