oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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