So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
