Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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