I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
