My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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