Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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