He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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