I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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