wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
honey bunches of taint.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
