I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
