I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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