Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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